It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
