So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Someone signed my nipple.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
