oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
nutella sex= disaster
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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