it's like iHOP with fire
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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