You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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