Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize