If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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