My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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