Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.