She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company