did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
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i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
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You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.