Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.

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(907): He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED. http://tfl.nu/5p57

Replies (10) Good night (2532) Bad night (879)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.

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(803): i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright. http://tfl.nu/lklv

Replies (39) Good night (6990) Bad night (1716)
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(419): View more from Ohio

her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.

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(419): her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier. http://tfl.nu/ogdc

Replies (88) Good night (7465) Bad night (1427)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...

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(231): I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name... http://tfl.nu/p31n

Replies (9) Good night (4543) Bad night (1198)
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(512): View more from Texas

Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.

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(512): Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky. http://tfl.nu/on0b

Replies (17) Good night (5766) Bad night (1601)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.

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(404): Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic. http://tfl.nu/dv7k

Replies (27) Good night (3467) Bad night (5272)
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(903): View more from Texas

He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.

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(903): He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well. http://tfl.nu/h56s

Replies (8) Good night (5521) Bad night (915)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME

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(603): I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME http://tfl.nu/slem

Replies (5) Good night (4270) Bad night (937)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?

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(715): His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him? http://tfl.nu/r9a3

Replies (21) Good night (1324) Bad night (1720)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?

(651): View more from Minnesota

Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better

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(715): I haven't seen her in ages, how is she? (651): Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better http://tfl.nu/q7yr

Replies (5) Good night (2172) Bad night (619)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode

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(612): her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode http://tfl.nu/ptvh

Replies (5) Good night (1428) Bad night (701)
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(850): View more from Florida

She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.

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(850): She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off. http://tfl.nu/vexh

Replies (10) Good night (1456) Bad night (618)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.

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(412): Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is. http://tfl.nu/yq5o

Replies (7) Good night (1242) Bad night (547)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns

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(703): Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns http://tfl.nu/cgxv

Replies (15) Good night (526) Bad night (292)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.

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(920): Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning. http://tfl.nu/b6qm

Replies (1) Good night (390) Bad night (172)

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