Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize