You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize