yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
