I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
