She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
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yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
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We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And then my night got REAL pukey
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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