I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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