11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.