Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.