my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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