I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
