Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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