You can't motorboat a personality
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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