Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize