I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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