I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
