she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize