Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
