Pants 0. Shit 1.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
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I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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