wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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