He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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