I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize