EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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