I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
