I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
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you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?