oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
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This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
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Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.