i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone