a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
