____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black