How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.