glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.