Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
