worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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