I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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