My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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