i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Randomize
