Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
