hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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