i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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