I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
