Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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