dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
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answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
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Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!