i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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