You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.