Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
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She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
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My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.