So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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