I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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