those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize